Around 13 years from now, I should be done homeschooling my children. Probably not too long after that, my kids will be all grown up and leave the house to start their own lives. I don’t want to be left living with a stranger. Instead, I want to have an empty house to enjoy with my best friend. With this goal, I make sure to design my day with my husband in mind.
Why I want to do this:
- So that I can help and encourage him
- To strengthen our marriage
- Our marriage could be the only picture of Christ and His church that others may see
- Because I love him
- I want to spend time with my best friend
The simple things that I do to keep Seth in mind:
- I pack his lunch and help get him out the door early in the morning. He mentioned that I actually don’t ever seem to be doing anything else at that point. (I usually stop where I am in my morning routine to get a few minutes to talk to him before he leaves in the mornings.)
- My shopping and cooking lists take into account what food he likes (and what he can eat). In our case, this means everything is gluten-free. He’s a snacker so I also try to have snacks available for him.
- I put tasks like washing his dress clothes on my to-do list when he needs clothing for work.
- I design my cleaning and the kids’ school day around getting everything (or almost everything) done before he gets home from work. That way, we have more of a chance to do things as a family.
- I plan to be flexible. I’m not the most spontaneous person. I think I used to be before so much was added to my plate. So, now I make meal plans and organize life in such a way to allow for us to “just pick up and go” if Seth wants to take the family for a hike or have a couch “date night”. This means that there are snack foods available for hikes and no tasks that “must” be done when he is home. I usually have weekly goals that I can work on if I have the time, but I try very hard to not have a huge “to-do” list every time he walks in the house.
- My non-fiction book list for the year includes books on marriage. This means I’m reading and thinking about ways to improve our relationship throughout my day, week, and year. I’m sure I’ll always have more to learn. (So far this year, I’ve read The Love Dare, The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance, and The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages) A common theme in all of these books is to be intentional about your relationship.
- My weekly goals often include things like planning a monthly date out, having a couch date, or writing him a note on the bathroom mirror.
- I try to pray for him every day.
- Remembering all that he accomplishes in his day helps me to realize (and be thankful for) all that he does for our family.
- In our family, Seth and I decided to eliminate some of our supplemental income sources that took away from time together or with the family. Instead, we have added supplemental income that are things we accomplish together: this blog, math help, Science by Immersion (group science experiments). This decision really has gotten us to spend even more time together and time talking about something other than our children.
- I even have left a load of laundry until morning to fold if Seth wants to spend time with me. (I’ve never regretted that decision!)
What benefits are there to designing my day with Seth in mind?
- Almost 15 years into this marriage, I’m still married to my best friend. In fact, I’d say he’s a whole lot more of a best now friend than when we first started this marriage.
- When I take care of mundane tasks for Seth like packing his lunch or washing his dress clothes, it frees him up to pursue lots of other activities: science experiments with the kids, blogging, fun game and sports times with the family, exercise, being more involved in our chapel, and so much more.
- In taking care of my husband, he ends up taking better care of me! I don’t do things to help him with this goal in mind, but it certainly is a great side effect.
I want to be intentional each day about strengthening my marriage and being a helper to my husband. That’s why it’s so important to not forget him when designing my day. How do you design your day with your husband in mind? (We all have different marriages so what works for me might not work for you. I would love to hear other ideas of things that you do.)
If you enjoyed this post, you might enjoy the rest of the series Designing My Day.